Out the Door

Going to the gym and training by myself has presented me with a new obstacle to overcome. As I was driving to the gym this morning I realized that this “drag myself out the door” mentality was exactly the same thing I experienced back in my running days. Even though I looked forward to running and enjoyed the run itself, most days I would find myself struggling to get out the door; however, the moment I put on my shoes and shut the door behind me, my attitude flipped like a light switch and I was happy to be running. This is what I am currently experiencing whenever I need to go to the gym. I want to train. I am committed to training and won’t skip a session, but getting out of the house is a reluctant process. I’d like to think this will change in time as I grow more comfortable in my new gym surroundings and get to know the people there. And even if it doesn’t change, at least I know that I am focused, determined, and committed to doing what I need to do to reach my goals.

1. deficit deadlifts (2-2×1)

warm up: 95 lbs x 6, 135 x 5, 165 x 4

main event: 195 x 5, 195 x 5, 195 x 5

Oh boy! So, I put my belt on beginning with my second warm up set. I generally wait longer to use my belt, but since the back has been achy for the past week I figured I’d play it safe. I was in the midst of my second working set, when I suddenly realized why the deadlifts were feeling so easy today…I had forgotten all about the deficit and was doing regular deadlifts! Oops! I considered sticking with the conventional for the final set but ultimately chose to grab a plate and get at least one set of deficits in. Definitely a difference with the deficit! Yet, I think they still felt better than they did last week, and the back was less irritated during the sets.

2. incline bench (3-1×0)

45 lbs x 8, 55 x 15, 55 x 12, 55 x 10

These also felt better than last week!

3. stiff legged deadlifts (3-1×0)

105 lbs x 15, 105 x 8

Unlike last week, there was chalk in the box at the gym today, which meant I was able to maintain a solid grip for all of my deadlift reps. A solid grip helps make the reps feel easier…at least a little bit.

4a. side plank

x 30 seconds each, x 30, x 15

4b. barbell row

65 lbs x 12, 65 x 12, 65 x 10

4c. glute bridge

30 lbs x 15, 30 x 15, 30 x 15

 

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The F Word

My husband needs a new hip. In fact, he is tentatively scheduled for hip replacement surgery for next Monday. I say ‘tentatively’, because he was originally scheduled for last Friday…until he was bumped. Even though he is now a week out from surgery, there is always the potential for being bumped again. I sure hope that doesn’t happen for several reasons, but mainly for his own health & well-being and then so that he might be recovered enough to come to Provincials with me. It’s more important for my husband to get his new hip in order to get back to living without the pain and physical limitations he’s lived with for the past several years, but I’d be presented with a bunch of logistical complications if he weren’t able to come to Provincials. But I can’t worry about those details yet!

I had a chiropractic appointment about an hour ago, and I was in a fair bit of pain once again. The pain drags frustration and despair along with it. My face was long as I stood in the waiting room (standing because I cannot sit), and my gaze was boring a hole in the floor in an effort to keep tears at bay. Has there ever been a time that my chiropractor hasn’t made me laugh when I’ve been in the depths of despair? I don’t think so! As he pushed and poked and determined that the left SI joint was the problem more than the disc, he made a comment about me never being as f’ed up as I think I am. I laughed. Even now, replaying the comment puts a smile on my face and makes my heart feel a few pounds lighter, despite the fact that the SI joint is seriously throbbing.

Since the end of January, I have had an SI joint problem on the right side, a disc problem, and now the left SI joint problem. The pain has ebbed and flowed in intensity and in triggers, but pain has been present every day since the end of January. Quite frankly, my dear, I’m sick of it! I want it gone. I want to get back to being able to do whatever I want to do without pain. Like seriously…tying my shoes? Eating dinner at the dining room table instead of while laying on the floor? It shouldn’t hurt to put on shoes or sit for more than a few minutes. Anything and everything that I have been told to do to help the SI joints or the disc, I have done. When it comes to rehabbing, I am one of the most consistent and committed patients around. I want to be healthy and mobile and active. Being in constant pain sucks. Not being able to move your body the way you want to sucks. I’ve been living the past three months in pain, frustration, and restriction, and I do not like it one bit.

Perspective is important though. I’ve been living in pain for three months. My husband has been living in pain for more years than I can even accurately recall. He needs a new hip. While I might wish I had a different back in this moment, the truth is that I am not as f’ed up as I think I am. Discs heal. The SI joint will heal. One day this will be a memory. These past months will be footnotes in my scrapbook, challenges that I have overcome.

Today’s training session wasn’t all that I hoped it would be; however, despite the pain I experienced in the process, Michael said it was still a decent session.

1a. squats-low bar, with sleeves

45 lbs x 8, 95 x 5

with belt: 135 x 5, 155 x 5, 175 x 5, 175 x 5, 175 x 5

The back started to feel quite achy when I started at 175 pounds. I think my bar path was generally good and consistent. Bar speed might have slowed a bit on various reps in the final two sets due to the back not being too happy with me.

1b. bench press-competition grip, last rep paused

43 lbs x 10, 73 x 6, 93 x 5, 110 x 5

Then Michael decided to stay at the same weight but slow the eccentric to about 3 seconds.

110 lbs x 4, 110 x 5, 110 x 5

The first set with the slow eccentric felt a bit tough, but the following sets were better.

2a. Frankenstein squats

93 lbs x 8, 113 x 7

These were less bothersome on the back but very chokey on the throat.

2b. flat dumbbell presses-for speed, touch and go

25 lbs x 25, 25 lbs x 22

The second set was done with my feet on the bench, because the back was not happy with arching. My chiropractor thinks the left SI joint might be cranky, because I recently resumed arching during bench presses after not arching for most of the past three months. Sometimes it feels like I just can’t catch a break…

But at least I’m not f’ed up!

The Wheel of Excellence

A few days ago, my¬†coach sent me a link to an excellent article, The Wheel of Excellence by Terry Orlick. I have read it through completely twice now and skimmed parts of it a few times more. It’s a fairly lengthy article, so you can follow the link to read the whole of it; however, I do want to touch on a few things here and now.

Here are the key points to the wheel of excellence:

1. Commitment

  • to excel
  • to be the best I can be
  • to do everything required to excel
  • to develop the mental, physical and technical links to excellence
  • to set clear personal goals and relentlessly pursue them
  • to persist in the face of obstacles
  • to give everything of myself that I can give

2. Belief/Self-confidence

  • in my own potential
  • in the meaningfulness of my pursuit
  • in my focus
  • in my capacity to achieve my goal(s)
  • in my preparation or readiness
  • in those with whom I work or play

3. Full Focus

  • for the duration of the performance
  • on the task at hand
  • in the moment
  • in the zone
  • on the performance
  • totally connecting to learning, experiencing or performing
  • on auto-pilot
  • letting things unfold naturally

4. Positive Images

  • dream big dreams
  • go after your dreams
  • follow a desired course of action
  • pursue specific targets or goals
  • prepare yourself to act and react in constructive ways
  • feel the flawless execution of desired performance skills
  • create positive feelings about yourself and your capacity
  • make corrections
  • remain positive
  • enhance confidence

5. Mental Readiness

  • create and take advantage of learning and performance opportunities
  • develop essential mental, physical and technical skills necessary to excel in my pursuit
  • plan practice and prepare effectively
  • perform to capacity
  • follow a path that brings out the best in me
  • relax myself and my focus away from the performance zone

6. Distraction Control

  • maintain an effective focus
  • regain an effective focus when distracted before, during or after a performance
  • quickly re-enter “the zone” of high performance
  • perform consistently at a high level
  • stick with my own game plan
  • get adequate rest
  • stay on my own best path for personal excellence

7. Constructive Evaluation

  • reflect upon what I did well
  • reflect upon what I can refine or improve
  • draw out important lessons from each experience/performance
  • assess the role of my commitment, attitude, mental readiness, and focus in relation to my performance outcome
  • target areas for improvement
  • act upon the lessons learned

As I have read through this article and chewed it over in my head, I feel like I do a lot of these things well. Am I completely perfect? Of course not! There isn’t one area where I think I am glaringly in need of improvement, but I know that improvement is always possible, always required. Have I always done these things well? Not likely but I have grown into these habits, this mindset.