Running on Empty

“Mental toughness is finding fuel on an empty tank.” ~ Kent Morris

Life is usually busy, crazy, and littered with bumps and pitfalls and mountains. It can be an adventure. It can also be exhausting at times. That seems to be where I am at right now…exhausted and in need of some breathing room or space.

I am glad that my husband finally had his hip replacement surgery, but I am beginning to feel the strain of having him at home all the time, especially with the knowledge that he will be home all the time for quite a while yet. He is doing well with his recovery and with his attitude, so I really have no reason to complain. Am I complaining? I don’t think so. I’m actually surprised by how well I have managed to keep my own attitude positive over the past two weeks. When he gets a cold or flu, I get grumpy within a day or two. Either I have turned into Mother Teresa or I have somehow acquired a level of patience I’ve never had before.

He is doing well, but he is not allowed to drive for quite some time, which means that my chauffeuring skills are being called upon more often. That also means that my “free” time is also being eaten up by more tasks that fall outside of my schedule and routine. Like the doctor’s appointment of the other day that chewed up free time before work…

With Provincials being two weeks away, I am beginning to feel the pressure of time collapsing around me. While life is always busy, it seems as if these next two weeks are somehow busier than usual. Some of that is by choice, some is just perception, and then there are just things and activities that must be attended to. Although I definitely use a day-timer and the calendar on my Iphone, I really should make a list of what needs doing and when. Seems redundant, right? But I am a maker of lists. I like checking/crossing off items as I have completed them, and I need the visual to help me stay focused and organized. Because, for some odd reason despite being busy, I seem to be in the mood for purging, spring cleaning, and catching up on little household tasks that fell by the wayside while my back was feeling significantly more pain.

After work today, I put my Mother’s Day sketch from my daughter into a frame and hung it on the wall. I also finally hung her graduation photo on the wall next to her brothers’. I changed the shower curtain liner. I did my exercises for my back and some band pull-aparts (because those are always a good thing). I drove my husband to somewhere that he needed to be. I put a chalkboard label on my coffee canister, so that I can note which type of coffee I am currently using. I made dinner. I did some writing in my Owner’s Manual notebook. I still need to prepare my food for work tomorrow…and my clothes, because I start super early and need to be as quiet as a church mouse. My husband needs me to drive him to the grocery store for supplies.

Two weeks. I have 9 work shifts remaining. A chiropractic appointment. Either 5 or 6 training sessions. I have an appointment to drop my car off to have the rear bumper fixed. My youngest son is graduating from university the day before I compete. While not absolutely essential, I would like to get my brows waxed and my hair cut and coloured. It’s kind of my tradition to get my hair done before a competition, and I’ve been seeing the silver in my hair for too long already. With sitting having been so painful for so long, I delayed a hair appointment even longer than is normal for me. I’m sure my husband has more medical appointments, although he’ll need other transportation if they don’t work with my schedule.

Really, I am looking forward to Provincials, because it will allow me a few holiday-like days. Not really holidays but I’ll take what I can get.


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