It has been almost two months since I started my new job, and I have to say that I am so glad that I made the change. While I do miss the interaction with some of my former co-workers and customers, I do not miss my old job at all. Change can be a wonderful thing. Scary, too. And even when you are ready and excited for change, there will still be an adjustment period where you have doubts and question yourself. Or at least that has been my experience.
Despite being super excited about my new job, the first month was an internal emotional firestorm. I was happy with my decision, but I’d repeatedly find myself mentally asking myself what I had gotten myself into and wondering if I’d made a terrible mistake. Thankfully, I am no longer asking or wondering such things! Being only two months into the new job, I recognize that I am still learning and growing in my position. Every day I work reminds me of that truth. However, over the past few weeks, I have noticed that I am feeling comfortable in my position, more confident (mostly) and I’m able to relax and be myself (mostly).
My coach/friend popped in one day last week for coffee. He later remarked that he thought I looked quite comfortable and competent. Ha! I’m glad that he thought so, because at that time I had barely started my shift and had walked into chaos. I hadn’t even had time to see what was going on or where things were at, but he couldn’t see panic in my eyes! My husband has sat in the lobby drinking coffee once or twice, and he has made similar comments about how comfortable I appear. A few of my new regular customers have also chatted with me to express their delight in having me there and remarking on my progress. While I may not always feel confident in myself, I appreciate the fact that others see me in a different light, especially those who know me well enough to see past my façade.
No, I don’t regret my decision to leave my comfortable job of 11 years. I don’t miss that job. It is difficult for me to put my thoughts and feelings about it into words. Usually I just end up rambling on without saying much of anything. The old job was crazy a lot of the time, and I was okay with crazy. In fact, I kind of enjoyed it most days, but it was draining. Mentally and physically. It’s only been two months, but I have yet to experience anything even half as close as that here! There have been times that feel crazy to me, because I am new and learning, yet I can still see that this version of crazy actually isn’t so bad. Okay, so maybe there will be some crazy ahead, like possibly next Tuesday for various reasons, but I know I’ll survive and get through the day. I also know that it will get better.