I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am
I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am
I’m a Porsche with no brakes
Yeah, I win every single game
I’m so powerful
I don’t need batteries to play
I’m so confident, yeah, I’m unstoppable today
Unstoppable today, unstoppable today
Unstoppable today, I’m unstoppable today
The lyrics above are from the song Unstoppable by Sia. It has become my new favourite power song, and it has been running through my head all day. How is it possible that I feel both unstoppable and so incredibly uncertain? Yesterday I felt decently confident and competent. Today I am calm on the outside and a tempest on the inside.
Everything on my ‘to-do’ list has been crossed off…assuming that I haven’t forgotten to add anything to the list! There are only a handful of ‘last minute’ details to take care, like packing my food and water. Then I need to try to get to bed at a decent time and have as restful a sleep as I possibly can. Easier said than done.
Last night I had a dream that I was climbing an incredibly tall and narrow tower of metal while pushing another tall piece of metal up the tower ahead of me. I had the understanding in my dream that this was something I had done many times before, but this time I was nervous and the weather around me was somewhat unpleasant. Midway through the climb, the piece of metal that I was required to push ahead of me broke in two.
Now I am not the sort of person to put a lot of stock in the meaning of dreams. Generally. However, I can recognize when my inner or outer stressors impact my dreams. I have a feeling that last night’s dream was an example of just such a situation, which means I wouldn’t be surprised to dream tonight about being late or getting lost or being abandoned or fighting/running for my life. <sigh>
As I wrote in my paper journal this afternoon, I just have to focus on doing what I already know how to do and doing the best that I can. As much as I will always want to win, ultimately I just need to be better than myself, better than I was last competition. Anything more than that is simply gravy, but I sure do like gravy!