Here Comes The Rain Again

I had a decent sleep. I ate fairly well. I had a good work day. So why am I on the verge of tears, moody and grumpy? Why do I still feel that way after training at my happy place? Well, I’ve got a few theories, excuses, reasons, but I’m going to leave them locked up tight inside my head. I recognize the demons inside my head, and I know well the damage they can leave in their path.

And so today’s training session wasn’t really the greatest. It’s exceedingly rare for a training session to fail to wipe out a bad mood, but that’s exactly what happened today. The training wasn’t horrible, and there were a few smiles to be seen, but I was ever so glad to walk out the door into the pouring rain. It didn’t matter that I was wearing a sweaty t-shirt, a skort and sandals. I would have loved to tarry in the rain longer, but I had left the windows of my car open just enough that the rain was getting in. And I still have to try and keep my tattoo relatively dry. Sadly, I drove out of the rain and the storm as I got closer to home, but the storm still rages inside.

1a. squats, high bar, closer hand position, knee sleeves

45 x 8, 95 x 8, 125 x 8, 155 x 5

with belt: 185 x 5, 205 x 5, 205 x 5, 225 x 1, 185 x 4

The squats actually started out feeling rather good. Even the sets at 205 didn’t feel very heavy, but I did struggle with being pushed forward. So we lowered the bar just slightly for the second set at 205. I think that set was a bit better, but I honestly don’t remember. The single felt okay. The back-down set at 185 was so much tougher than it should have been. I completely lost my balance coming up from the first rep and had to take a step forward to recover it. The remaining reps were tough. It felt like each rep was a competition between my legs as to which one was going to feel like it was lagging behind. If Michael hadn’t called it after the fourth rep, I would have and I am not happy about feeling that desire to quit.

1b. bench press, competition grip and <sigh> touch and go

43 x 10, 65 x 8, 85 x 8, 100 x 6, 110 x 4 + 1, 110 x 4 + 1, 105 x 4 + 1

As much as I don’t like the ‘touch and go’, these were not too bad, perhaps because Michael gave me permission to slow the eccentric just enough so I could keep control. The sets of 4 + 1 were four reps touch and go and then one rep paused. The first set at 11o was tough and likely ugly. The second was slightly better.

90 x 11 AMRAP

This was an improvement over last week, so I’m happy about that.

2a. chest-supported rows

90 x 8, 90 x 6 + 45 x 8

These just sucked. I know I can do better than how these felt.

2b. dips, with blue band

Michael asked which band to which I replied the biggest one and to which he gave me a look. It’s been a while since I’ve done dips, and I was already feeling defeated.

x 6, x 7

Then I enjoyed my brief foray into the rain and fought back tears all the way home.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Here Comes The Rain Again

  1. Big hugs girl! Demons in the head is a common plight of mine, too. It gets better as you take time to wade through those deep and murky waters. It isn’t very fun usually and it is pretty mucky but after you get in there and start sorting through the pain, you shine a light into those dark places and slowly, but surely…definitely surely…you will get to a place where those dark places are merely shadows reminding you of what once was and what once hurt but it is merely a reminder and not a re-living. Not every day is rosy for me, alas I am an introverted deep-thinking over-thinker (lol) but my days are WAY less dark than they used to be. In the meantime, good for you to be proactive and continue to the gym and do good things for yourself. That always helps! Bless you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s