The Ripple Effect

I skipped church this morning, not that I didn’t want to go, but rather I didn’t want to sit and possibly be uncomfortable and in a heap of pain. Somehow I didn’t think that it would be a good idea for me to sprawl across a pew or the floor just to be able to listen to the sermon. My daughter told me that there would be no judgement if I were to lie on the floor at church, but I still opted to stay home and remain reasonably comfortable. I was anticipating a better day today, and I wanted to take advantage of every minute with less pain. Oh my! Doesn’t that sound dramatic!

Yesterday was a nasty day. It was a work day, of course, and my neck and head exploded with pain. Something as simple as carrying a bag of garbage caused more pain in the neck. Actually carrying anything marginally heavy in one hand created uncomfortable tension in my neck which increased the pain. And then there are just numerous little movements, often originating from less than ideal body positioning. With training, at least I am always in a neutral or stable position, which is likely why training hasn’t bothered my neck much while work does. Thankfully my work days come in 2-day chunks, so I just need to get through two brutal days before I get a bit of a reprieve. Yesterday was so bad that I actually laid down on the staff room floor during my break, and that was one of the best things that I did all day! Seriously. Laying on the floor eased the pain in my neck and the headache, not completely but significantly, at least for a short while. I couldn’t stay on the floor for long, but I definitely camped out on my living room floor as soon as I got home. A couple of glasses of wine later in the evening also helped…a lot! The headache was almost non-existent by the time I had half a glass in me. Too bad I can’t just drink wine all day long!

Today is a better day than the past two days, but better isn’t the same as good or normal. There is still a headache and still pain in my neck, just to a lesser degree. I am doing all the things that my chiropractor wants me to do, including a bit of self-traction, which actually feels very good. It’s amazing how good it feels to attempt to pull your head off your neck after you’ve jammed your neck together! Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, even though I will have to work. I can hope.

Pain sucks.

Provincials are in 27 days, and I have some goals. There are records that I am quite capable of breaking, and I want to do just that! But I have to admit that it feels like my self-confidence and mental game have taken a hit by the same box that fell on my neck. Isn’t it funny, in a non-ha ha kind of way, how an injury or some pain can ripple through your body and soul, creating small waves of uncertainty? I felt those ripples during last week’s training sessions. Although those waves were small and seemingly insignificant, I felt them lapping against my legs, and I came to the realization that I was standing in a big sea where I could so easily be swallowed up.

I believe that I am strong enough mentally to get through this minor setback, because it is truly minor. I think so anyway. I have managed to be focused, determined and strong-willed before, so I know I can continue to be so now. There is just something about pain that feels different inside the head. It’s one thing to give up flours, sugars and wine for two months knowing that there is an end in sight; however, an injury doesn’t typically come with an expiry date. Unfortunately.

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