I Caved

I am trying not to be grumpy. Really, I am! While I had a bit of frustration in the gym today, I know that I need to shake that off and not think about it. I can do that. But I am hungry now, having finished my training session more than an hour ago. Dinner was waiting for me when I got home. I dished up my plate, took a couple of bites and sadly set the plate aside. I cannot eat it. The food on my plate has absolutely no appeal. It is nutritious, but my mouth, my stomach does not want it. After 7 weeks without flours or sugars, I am beginning to feel weary of the sameness of my diet and the lack of tasty, empty calories. At the same time, I need to try and keep my weight from dropping too much too soon, and that is no easy task. My son has several pizza pops in the oven right now. I just might grab one for myself when they are ready. There is an inner battle going on in my head right now. Do I stay the course and force myself to eat the healthy but unappealing, or do I stray off the course to satisfy my stomach and get all my calories in?

With competition 8 days away, the heavy work has been done. Well, I was supposed to hit a heavy bench press today, but mostly I’m just reinforcing patterns. Since I knew I would be practicing all three lifts, I wore my singlet today.

1a. squats, low bar

without belt: 43 x 12, 93 x 5, 123 x 3, 153 x 3

with belt: 178 x 1, 203 x 1

The squats felt good.

1b. bench press, competition grip

45 x 10, 65 x 5, 85 x 3, 100 x 3, 115 x 2, 125 x 1 competition grip, 125 x 1 close grip

We aren’t really certain which grip is the best for me, and this little test didn’t make the answer any more clear.

130 x 0

This was supposed to be my heavy single. I knew before I even brought the bar all the way down to my chest that it wasn’t going to happen, because I had a slight misgroove, bringing the bar too far down on my chest. In that moment, I knew the bar was not where I wanted it. I just had the thought now that maybe the previous rep with close grip messed me up a bit. Michael had been concerned before that close grip rep that I might not nail the bar position with the switch in grips, but I did. I think that I was a little intentional with that single, knowing that I did have to alter the position for the change in grip, and maybe I didn’t give that same consideration to the next single.

Then we were supposed to drop to 125 for a double, but I ran into a similar problem, except this time I brought the bar a little too high on my chest. Michael, naturally, gave me a pep talk, told me that it didn’t really matter, that I had essentially hit my peak on Monday, that I shouldn’t dwell on the misses, and that I was going to be fine. Of course, he’s right. But those misses were disappointing, frustrating. I’m over it though. I trust my coach. I trust the process. Most of the time.

105 x 3, 115 x 1

2. deadlifts

without belt: 135 x 6, 185 x 3

with belt: 205 x 1, 225 x 1

While I normally wear flat shoes when deadlifting, I had my squat shoes on for all of these today, because we began my deadlift sets in the middle of my bench sets. I wear my squat shoes while benching, so I didn’t want to change things up as I was gearing up for that heavy single attempt. Surprisingly, the deadlifts didn’t feel too strange with the wrong shoes on my feet, except for the first rep or two. The deadlifts felt really good today, and I think I was better at keeping the bar close to my thighs.

3. rope face pulls, pronated grip

20 lbs x 15 x 3 sets

For the record, I ate two pizza pops. I don’t feel satisfied. Maybe I’ll have a banana and go to bed hoping that tomorrow is a better day for eating.


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