Competition in the Competition

At the end of the day, when you have practically licked your plate clean and have eaten all the food that you are allowed for the day but you’re still hungry, isn’t it great to know that you can still eat all the raw vegetables that you want? This is my life. My family takes great pleasure in pointing out that this is all my choice, and I know that is true. It is my choice, and it is one that I am making willingly…doesn’t mean that I have to always feel excited about it though, right?

1a. squats, low bar, no sleeves

without belt: 45 x 8, 95 x 5, 125 x 5, 145 x 3, 165 x 2

with belt: 185 x 2, 205 x 1, 220 x 1

I think these squats were generally better than last week. Depth was better, and I was keeping my chest up.

195 x 5, 195 x 5

The first back down set was tough. It felt light when I unracked the bar, but it began to feel heavy very quickly. After finishing that first set, I was glad to hear Michael say that it should feel heavy at this point in my training. The second set was a bit easier, although I think I might have cut the depth a tad on the last rep.

1b. bench press, competition grip

43 x 8, 63 x 5, 85 x 5, 100 x 5, 110 x 1, 120 x 1

105 x 5, 105 x 5, 105 x 5

Bench was fairly solid today. According to my coach, I haven’t lost any strength on my bench yet as a result of my drop in body weight! Ha! It’s not like I have an exceptionally strong bench anyway, but apparently the bench press is where you will lose first when dropping your body weight.

2a. TRX rows x 10, x 10

2b. pause squats, no belt, low bar, 2 second pause

170 x 3, 170 x 3

As usual, the bar path for my pause squats was really good. I just love pause squats! Also as usual, I’m pretty sure that Michael counted out the final rep rather slowly. I might roll my eyes a bit at that, but I’d be disappointed if he didn’t do it.

Flight information for the competition was posted this afternoon. There are three other women in my age/weight class. This is both exciting and stressful. I’ve never had so much direct competition before, so it will be nice, in a way, to have that extra incentive to push myself and do my best. On the other hand, the thinker that I am could easily be ensnared in a bad case of “what if they out-deadlift me?” That is a real possibility. I don’t know these women. I don’t know what they are capable of. And, the truth is that I cannot control what they do on that day. I can only do my best. I am competitive, so I want to win; however, I know that I won’t always be the winner and I’m okay with that. There is the possibility that I could achieve my deadlift goal without being able to claim the World record. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that possibility right now, but I know that I need to shove that into the deepest, darkest closet in my mind, lock the door and throw away the key. Michael has said it so many times over the two years that I’ve been powerlifting…you cannot control who shows up to a competition!

The possibility of someone surpassing me in this competition has always been present in my head. It was an easy enough possibility to ignore before I actually knew that I would have competition. At this moment, I am telling myself that what really matters is the goal, not the World record, and there is so much truth in that statement, even if I may not wholly believe it yet. But I don’t want to be defeated before I even step on the platform! I’ve worked so hard for this, and I believe 100% that I am capable of lifting the goal weight. That is what is important. Doing it. For myself. Oh boy.

Yup. I need to lock that sucker up tight and quickly!




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