Always Been Inside

Saturdays are my favourite work day of the entire week, but they are also the most physically and mentally draining work days. Today was no exception.

I knew that I was going to go for a walk after work, yet, as much as I was looking forward to the exercise, I really just wanted to curl up in the fetal position and not move for the rest of the day. Physically, I’m not really sore today, but my upper back felt heavy and weary, as if I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Still, I changed clothes, had my running shoes on and was out the door within minutes of getting home. I began to walk, feeling heavy, weary and morose. Each step seemed sluggish, but I trudged on, knowing I’d feel better soon enough.

I was only about 1.5 kilometres into my 5+K walk, trudging along and listening to Katy Perry’s Firework, when all of a sudden I was gutted by the impact of one section of lyrics (in red below). In that moment, walking along a peaceful, creekside trail, I was suddenly struggling to control wild emotions that sought to reduce me to great heaving sobs. I can’t explain why I was so affected by this song today; after all, I’ve heard it at least a hundred times or more. Maybe I was just run-down from the day. After regaining my composure (and ever so glad to have encountered no one else on the trail at that time!), I found a new lightness in my step and on my shoulders. It also helped that Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” came up next on my playlist!

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under screams
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
‘Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come and show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come and let your colors burst
Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gonna leave ’em falling down down down

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the fourth of July

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come and show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come and let your colors burst
Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
And it’s always been inside of you you you
And now it’s time to let it through

‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come and show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

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