I think my coach has super powers and can see inside my head. I had the thought earlier today that he might send me a text at some point in the day to ask about my mental state. He did. I’m much better! I had also considered going for a walk this afternoon and then dismissed it. My coach also asked if I was going for a walk. It’s almost like he knew that I had thought about a walk and was leaning towards not doing it. Of course, once he posed the question I had no choice but to go for a walk. I didn’t think I’d enjoy it too much, because it wouldn’t be running; however, I was surprised at just how good it was to be moving in the sunshine. With my head properly screwed into place, the sun shining most brilliantly, and Titanium blaring in my ears, I walked with a spring in my step and fierce determination coursing through my veins.

Titanium is one of my most favourite songs when it comes to running or motivation. It is a song that I never, ever get tired of hearing. In fact, I can listen to it on repeat for kilometres! (Aren’t you glad you don’t have to share my earbuds on a walk or run!) Most of the lyrics really aren’t very amazing or deep, but here are the ones that hit me hardest.

You shout it out
But I can’t hear a word you say
I’m talking loud not saying much
I’m criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium

My biggest critic is myself. I can convince myself that all sorts of false things about myself are true. I can see a number on a scale and slash my self-confidence to shreds out of fear and doubt. I would be hard-pressed to ever assault another person’s character the way I do my own. This song is like my own personal battle cry in this inner war. It is a reminder that I am stronger than I think I am, that I have the ability to stand firm under pressure and pick myself up when I stumble. I am not perfect and never will be. There will be days when I fall into the depths of despair, days where I am on top of the world, and days where I am just coasting along comfortably; nevertheless, I am focused, determined, titanium.


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