I Am Woman

A thousand thoughts have been swirling in my head all day, yet I do not know how to begin this blog post. I had another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. When your day begins before 4:00 AM and goes downhill almost immediately…well, that makes for an incredibly long and draining day. So what caused this horrible calamity? Aside from the usual work stressors, I stepped on the scale and found myself 2 pounds heavier than I had been yesterday.

I am trying to lose several pounds over the next few weeks, so that my “last minute” weight cut won’t need to be so drastic. Wheat and sugars have already been eliminated from my diet, and now, for the past week, I have reduced my calorie consumption. While I have not been starving, I have most definitely been hungry every single day since beginning to consume less calories. The numbers on the scale need to go down, and this little increase knocked me down mentally. Under normal circumstances, I would barely bat an eyelash over a little jump or drop in weight on a day-to-day basis, because I am well aware that my body weight does fluctuate like that. I guess I am just stressing out. My goal is so big, and I want it so much that sometimes I am undone by the sheer size and scope of what I want to achieve. As big as my goal is, the goal is also very realistic and attainable, which might even make me stress out all the more. I suppose that is why I was such an emotional wreck today. The good news is that today was a training day, and a training session almost always takes my horrible day and bad attitude and improves them.

1a. squats, low bar, no sleeves

without belt: 45 x 8, 95 x 5, 125 x 5, 145 x 5

with belt: 165 x 5, 185 x 5, 185 x 5, 185 x 5, 200 x 1

Squats were mostly decent today with good speed. There was a rep here and there not quite right, but I think I’m getting used to my belt. The single at 200 pounds felt quite good, definitely easier than most of the reps at 185. First time with 200 pounds on my back since January 11. Reps may not always feel easy, but it is nice to know that they aren’t always a good indicator for how a heavy single will feel.

1b. bench press-competition grip, bigger bar

47 x 8, 67 x 5, 77 x 5, 92 x 5, 102 x 5, 102 x 5 better, 107 x 5, 117 x 1

AMRAP-1: 95 x 9

Bench felt fairly solid again today, but Michael did have me work at having a slight backwards motion when I press. The “as many reps as possible” set felt tough, but I guess that should be expected at the end of the session.

2. pause squats, low bar, no belt

135 x 5 with 2 second pause

145 x 5 with 2 second pause

The weight on the bar wasn’t heavy at all, but these felt very good all around. My form felt natural and smooth. It felt like I knew how to squat! 😉 I know not everyone enjoys pause squats, but I have to say that I actually like them. Of course, sometimes my legs don’t agree with me, but I really do like doing pause squats.

Tomorrow is a new day. The weight will drop…eventually. I will make my weight class. I can and I will. Sometimes I think that I forget that I am a woman. Not really, of course! But since having my hysterectomy more than three years ago, I forget that I still have those psychotic female hormones cycling through my body. I may not have a uterus, but I still have ovaries. I doubt that I can blame my ovaries for six weeks of emotional instability, but I do need to consider that those ovaries can and will affect me in some way.



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