I, Zombie

I feel like an extra from The Walking Dead. Sleep has been elusive and fleeting for more than a week, and last night was the absolute worst night I’ve had in a very long time. I am so incredibly tired, exhausted and drained. If I don’t get a decent sleep soon I am going to cry and most likely will crash & burn at the worst possible time.

I saw my chiropractor yesterday and got feedback on my x-rays. The x-rays look good. There is some very minor arthritis but not in an area that would be causing any problem, which means I’m probably looking at a disc issue after all. Sitting will not be kind to me, and, unfortunately due to my current state of exhaustion, I spent most of yesterday in a sitting or reclining position. By the end of the day, my hip was in a wide world of pain. My toe was numb. My lower back was also hurting rather good. Don’t think I’ll be doing that again!

Michael suggested a possible de-load. I balked. I don’t want to de-load. I don’t want to take a break. However, he is the boss, and I will do what he tells me to do, knowing that he has my best interests at heart. A de-load isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I know. It’s only stubbornness that makes me reluctant to back down…and possibly a brain that is clouded by fatigue. But Michael let me deadlift today, so I guess I can’t complain too much.

1a. sumo deadlifts

warm-ups: 95 x 8, 125 x 5, 125 + 20 pounds of chain x 1

main event:

145 + 60 pounds of chain x 3 x 8 sets

1b. plank with a plate on my back

35 lbs x 20 seconds, 45 lbs x 20 seconds x 3 sets

2a. push-ups

x 12…a new PR!!!, X 6

X 5 + another 5 on my knees, all with a bit of a shoulder shrug rep before the actual push-up

2b. back extensions with a 25 lb dumbbell

x 15, x 20, x 20

2c. barbell curls

35 lbs x 10, 40 lbs x 9, 40 lbs x 9

Normally I am starving by the time I get home after my training session. Not today. I don’t think I even made it a quarter of the way through my rice, and I never even touched my meat. The thought of eating more makes me want to gag, yet I tried to eat more, knowing that I need the carbs and that carbs can help with sleep, although they haven’t exactly been helpful this past week. As I sit here, dubiously eyeing my plate of food and trying to transfer thoughts to typed words, I feel fatigue oozing out of every pore in my body. I want to lay my head back, close my eyes and not move for a week. Of course, I’m currently sitting and that would be murder on my hip. Michael wants me to go for a leisurely 20-minute walk tonight before I go to bed. I’m so tired that this is the last thing that I want to do, but I shall do it. At this point I would hit myself on the head with a hammer every night if I thought it would help me sleep.

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