The Lady of Wild Things

I am thoroughly enjoying a lazy, restful day after yesterday’s highly productivity. I woke up and lingered in bed for a half-hour or so, which is something I have not done for so long that I cannot remember the last time! I had breakfast, took my time getting dressed, surfed the internet, played some Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean, ate lunch, watched last week’s episode of Doctor Who that I missed, wrote in my journal, sent off a couple of emails, and just finished writing a poem! And I still have 2.5 hours until I need to start thinking about leaving the house for a couple of errands. It’s been a good day thus far!

One errand is to attend a volunteer’s orientation for the weekend’s race festivities. Normally I would be excited about going to the orientation, because it would be my first opportunity to see the big white tent for the Sports Expo and the Start/Finish gate. I am no longer looking forward to the weekend, and in fact, I am expecting to have some ‘choke back the emotions’ moments. I think I can possibly make it through the orientation without too much problem, but it will be more difficult on Saturday when I am volunteering, handing out race packages to runners, and when I pick up my own package and browse the Expo. It just won’t be the same. This is the first time since 2010 that I won’t be running Thanksgiving weekend. Thanksgiving 2010 was when I ran my very first race. Yes, there are other marathons, if I am so inclined, but this one is special to me. I am okay with the decision now, but it still sucks.

So, this afternoon I decided to do some writing. I don’t often purposefully write for fun, because I seldom have the time or mental energy for it. Today I had the time, and it is something I really do enjoy doing. I grabbed a prompt that jumped out at me from a book and put pen to paper. It has been a long time since I last wrote a poem, but the prompt had poem oozing out of every letter. I had no choice but to try to write a poem. At first it was a struggle but eventually thoughts flowed more freely. Whether or not it is any good, I don’t know. I like it, but I am not the best judge of my own work. And it is raw, unedited. Here it is:

The Lady of Wild Things

My children look at me with strange eyes,

faces skewed with doubt and gentle mocking.

What has happened to this woman-

their mother is misbehaving again.

Oh children, don’t you know?

I am the lady of wild things.

 

While they were young I lived their lives

and it was enough, for a season,

but then again, not nearly.

My children are growing up,

and I have grown restless.

I am the lady of wild things.

 

I feel younger now than I did then

and braver, stronger, more sure.

Maybe I have always been this way,

only lost and afraid,

comfortable in my forgetting

I am the lady of wild things.

 

I embarrass my kids now, but I hope

that they are also proud

of a mother who is unafraid,

who is strong, determined, able

to step outside the familiar to become

the lady of wild things.

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