A Little Smile

Today was a better day. Work was a little crazy but still a good day. A regular customer mentioned how good it was to see my smiling face. A co-worker surprised me with a bouquet of flowers, because she knew how disappointed I am to not be running the marathon. I had barely got home from work when I received a text from my trainer with encouraging words. To top it all off, I had some much-needed girl time with my best friend. Yes, it has been a good day!

To be sure, I am still disappointed, sad and frustrated, but my head knows that this is the right decision. Eventually my heart will fall into line and agree. That may happen sooner than I had expected, although I am quite certain that emotions will run roughshod over me later next week. Even though I won’t be running after all, I will still need to be at the heart of the race for two days. On Thursday night, my daughter and I have a volunteer orientation to attend. On Saturday, Abby and I are volunteering by handing out race packages (and I’ll need to pick up mine…so bittersweet). I will see the start/finish line, the timing clocks, the preparations. I will feel the energy and excitement of runners of all shapes, sizes and ages as they pick up their packages and browse the expo booths. Because I am volunteering Saturday morning, I will see excited children gathering for the kids’ run and runners for the 5K. That same 5K run was my very first race. Oh yeah, that’s going to be a tough day!

It will be a tough day, but I will get through it. A few tears might slip through. My voice might choke up at times, but it is just one day, one race. Isn’t it ironic! I’ve been dreading many aspects of the marathon for months, but now I wish most desperately that I could run it. Running a marathon was never on my bucket list. Even when I registered for it in January, I still never really considered it to be a bucket list item. I guess I was wrong; however, I really don’t know that I want to run a marathon badly enough to put myself through that kind of torture again. A half-marathon possibly!

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