Snap Back to Reality

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We had a highly enjoyable holiday. It was almost everything we wanted out of a holiday: safe travels, an exciting football game, a break from routine, little stress, plenty of relaxation, beautiful scenery, fresh air, and the opportunity to learn a little. About the only thing that could have been better…sleep! The beds were all comfortable, but we generally did not sleep well at all.

We arrived back home early yesterday afternoon, and the first thing I did was let my trainer know that we were home. There would have been a time when going to the gym a few hours after getting home from holidays would have been the last thing on my mind, but that time is no more! Really, I only missed one training day, but it certainly felt like more. I gained about 2 pounds during our holidays, which isn’t really a lot and I’m sure that will disappear in no time.

This morning I did my hill sprints. Good grief! Those were tough today! My body wanted to quit halfway through the second sprint, but I managed to push myself to finish 8 sprints before calling it quits. Now my quads are a bit stiff and sore. Sunday’s long run is just around the corner, and I’m not thrilled about it at all. In fact, it rather makes me want to cry. I need to do 29 kilometres on Sunday. Ugh. I am trying to spin it in a positive way in my mind, but my mind is smart enough to see through such trickery. I have only 6 long runs left before the marathon, and the final one is a measly 6K, hardly a long run at all! So really, I only have 5 long runs left. Five Sundays of being on the brink of death. Five Sundays of hitting the road at 5:00 in the morning. Five Sundays of painful hobbling like an old woman. Five more Sundays of running for 3+ hours. Five more Sundays to dwell on how insane I was to want to do a marathon.

I know I can do it, because I can be mighty stubborn when I need to be. I hate failing, and nothing short of a significant injury is going to stop me from finishing that marathon. However, there is still that little voice inside my head that keeps telling me I cannot do this and I should just give up. It’s amazing how loud and persistent that little voice can be, even in the face of stubbornness and determination. It’s a nasty, resilient creature, kind of like a cockroach, I think, in that it seems to survive anything you throw at it. This is the battle right now…to keep going, to persist, to persevere, to suck it up when need be, to focus on the voices of those who are encouraging and supportive, to see the finish line through the haze of exhaustion and pain.

The holiday was lovely. I wish it could have been longer but not really. It was just long enough to refresh and just short enough to not disrupt routine too much. Now we return to reality. Laundry has been done. I’m more or less back to my normal eating habits. I am back to work tomorrow. It was good to get a work out in last night, even with the push-ups! The sooner Sunday’s long run gets here, the sooner I can scratch it off the list and focus on only 4 long runs remaining!

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