You Know You’re a Powerlifter When…

I didn’t write the following, but I’ve seen it all over the internet and had a good laugh. It’s kind of ironic, because I’ve recently begun to think that I might be more of a powerlifter than a runner (at least that is how I feel when I’m in the midst of a long run and thinking about how hard and long the marathon will be!) I can definitely relate to a few of these, so I’ve indicated them with an asterisk.

The doctor tells you that you need more iron in your diet so you throw in an extra set of lock-outs!

You check squat depth when using the john.

When you work a desk during the day and you still have 1/2 inch thick calluses on your hands.

You think baby powder on your thighs and chalk on your hands looks cool.

Whenever a non-PL friend of yours moves house, or needs to move heavy things around the place, you are the FIRST person they call for help!

*You psych up before lifting your laundry basket off the floor.

Most people in the gym don’t like you.

You are NOT at a powerlifting gym when during your leg routine, you have all the 45’s in the gym on your own bar and a bunch of guys are watching you waiting for you to share.

You dismount the toilet like doing box squats (to perfect that explosive power). (I don’t do this, but I’m thinking maybe I should! My trainer is always telling me that I need to find that explosive power.)

You think torn track pants, an old, sweaty, filthy t-shirt advertising a garbage company, and SLIPPERS, are perfectly suitable gym attire.

You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.

People at gym tell you someone is looking very “cut” and you think they had a terrible accident in the kitchen.

When the word “gear” refers to squat suits, bench shirts, wraps, belts, suit slippers, salts and chalk, not STEROIDS.

When you inhale ammonia instead of using it for cleaning.

*When the amount of weight you lift is more important than how cleanly shaven your legs are or how dark your tan is.

When the gym owner kicks you out for bending yet another bar while squatting.

You think a 16 oz. steak is a snack to have between meals.

*It takes 5 seconds for your spirit to re-enter your body after deadlifting.

You think that creatine is a food group.

You use a 1 kg plate as a paper-weight on your desk at work.

You have baby powder in your gym bag.

*You take your weight belt off in between sets or while going to the water fountain or restroom.

You develop “white lung” from the chalk and baby powder.

You use the handicap stall at a public restroom for the use of the handrails on leg day.

You are annoyed by someone using the power rack for curls, even when the gym is empty.

You can’t understand why college wrestlers wear powerlifting uniforms.

You have more garments in your gym bag made of polyester than is worn by the whole crew at McDonald’s.

You think it is cool the Japanese named a national sport after your deadlifting style.

*The greeting “Good Morning” makes your hamstrings and lower back ache.

You think of helping your neighbors move their piano as “a set”.

You drop something, and go into a sumo stance to pick it up.

You might be a powerlifting female if all heads turn when you squat.

***You might be a powerlifting female if you get more excited over squat shoes and new belt than you do over jewelry. (Definitely!)

You get accused by bodybuilders of taking steroids because you’re stronger than they are.

You daydream of pushpressing aerobic instructors to see how high they will fly.

You have ever used a Home Depot card to purchase “training equipment”.