In looking through an old binder this afternoon, I realized that I have an addiction to journals, notebooks, and generally paper! I also came across something I wrote on August 30, 2013. As I read through those words I felt strong and empowered, because I am not the same person as the one who wrote those words. Well, I am the same person, but I am a better person!
Here is what I wrote a little more than seven months ago:
“Yes, here I am again-desiring weight loss and changed habits and attitudes. Jesus is saying to me, “I want you to give up the one thing you crave more than me. Then come, follow me.” (Matt. 19:21)
I might try to deny it or hide it, but I crave food, especially food low in nutrition and high on salt, sugar and fat. All the voices argue within me, saying that my eating habits are not a spiritual matter, that I’m making this a self-righteous journey, that there is no harm in enjoying all that life has to offer. Other people have dismissed my concerns, my interest in making healthy choices, telling me the same crap that I tell myself. Who do I listen to?
Jesus! The answer is always Jesus. His Word directs my path and gives me truth to live each day, but sometimes the message seems confusing. One verse speaks about sacrifice and self-control, while another speaks about being free to eat as we so choose. That’s a simplistic way to look at it, I know, but this is where some of my “opponents'” arguments stem from.
I am not interested in a self-righteous journey. I really don’t want to wallow in my sins, shame and chains. I want to be a Jesus girl, who walks and talks with god and lives life to the fullest sense of His Word. I believe that a healthy body leads to a healthy mind, and both bring glory to God and allow me to be His instrument to the fullest. I am made for God’s promises in every area of my life. It’s time to believe it, grasp tightly, and run with that truth.
- I am overweight by 25-30 pounds.
- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
- I want to be a good role model for my kids.
- I want to be active and healthy.
- I want to make positive changes to my eating/drinking habits and physical activity.
- I want to be a good steward of this amazing body that God has given me.
- I want to be responsible with my time and energy, gifts and talents.”
I only vaguely recall writing those words months ago, but I am fairly certain that I intended that list to be a list of truths. What I didn’t realize until now was that only the first two were ever actually true! The rest was merely good intentions and desires, but I am here now to say that I can make some minor changes to that list.
- I am not overweight. I have currently lost 22.5 pounds.
- I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, even things that I could never have imagined possible, although I still have to remind myself of that truth at times.
- I am a good role model for my kids, even if they don’t always appreciate it right now.
- I am active and much healthier than I have ever been.
- I have made, and am still making, positive changes to my eating/drinking habits and physical activity. And I’m enjoying it!
- I am being a good steward of this body.
- I am more responsible with my time and energy. I actually have more energy! Gifts and talents are a work in progress.