Feeling It All

I often prefer silence when I am driving by myself, but I have been wearing out one track on one CD for the past couple of weeks. Margaret Becker is one of my absolute favourite artists. Her music speaks right into my life and moves me in powerful ways. The song that I have been listening and singing to lately is not one that I would have claimed as a favourite before, yet now I cannot seem to get enough of it.

 

Feel It All by Margaret Becker

I think I heard your voice floating on the evening wind

and I felt you near again in the touch of a friend

this is life as it should be

this is life complete

cracking the surface of every breath

and finding you there in the center of it

 

(chorus)

In the beauty of the morning

in the rhythm of the rain

in the symphony of laughter as it plays across the face

in the colors of creation painting sunsets in the fall

I want to feel it all

 

Been living so close to the skin trying to feel everything

I’ve been digging down so deep looking for eternal things

oh I prayed a prayer to be wise

to see it all with your eyes

for ears to hear and a heart to seek and the gift to find

all the treasure you leave

 

(chorus)

 

Oh and what is life

if not to see your spirit passing by

oh and what is love

if not to leave the imprint of your touch

I think I see it

 

In the fury of the ocean on a stormy winter’s day

in the choir of the angels as they dance upon the waves

in the colors of creation painting sunsets in the fall

I want to feel it all.

 

 

I think this song has recently resonated within me because of my women’s Bible study group’s latest study on “1000 Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. The premise of that book is all about looking for God’s gifts in our lives and how those gifts can be found anywhere and at any time. I struggled with aspects of the study, but I absolutely love the idea of being aware of God’s goodness and grace in the act of being thankful and cognizant of His gifts. I had heard Becker’s song many times over the past number of years, but it was one that I kind of mumbled along to without giving a lot of thought to the words. At least that is how I listened to up until a few weeks ago. Suddenly, in the context of God’s gifts, the lyrics washed over me like fresh rain on parched ground, and I just can’t soak it up fast enough.

I first picked up “1000 Gifts” nearly two years ago. As I started reading, I started my own list of 1000 gifts. Voskamp’s writing style leaves me in awe and irritated at the same time. She is very poetic and descriptive, flowery and emotive. It is a captivating manner of writing, but it can also feel sticky sweet and too much of a good thing. I have yet to actually finish reading her book, because I can only handle small doses at a time, and it is so easy to let the book sit on the shelf while I read books that are more easily digested. In the same way, I never did finish my original list of gifts, although I did reach 858! I could have finished that list, but I decided to start a fresh list when my study group began Voskamp’s study in January. So far I have listed 170 gifts, but it is a challenge to recognize these gifts at times.

It is easy to count some blessings as gifts:

12. an “inspiring” birthday gift to look at every day

154. warm enough to wear flip-flops

102. totally winging a recipe that might actually turn out fantastic

59. socks warm from the dryer

74. a good night’s sleep

84. friends who know me, get me, and still love me

16. deadlifting my body weight

60. snowy happy faces on tree trunks

153. my singlet arrived and shocking each of my kids

130. my own new colouring book and crayons

But sometimes finding the blessing takes a bit more effort. To find the gift in the difficult, the busy, the ugly…well, that isn’t easy, but it is so worth the effort!

24. Maggie released the mouse downstairs and NOT in my presence

8. feeling fear and trembling as I registered for the BMO Okanagan marathon

36. coming through ‘cranky Tuesday’ with a decent attitude

58. completing a tough workout with encouraging words to soften the frustration of the struggle

88. new muscle soreness that makes me realize I’ve worked hard

109. eating 3 eggs for breakfast-no gagging!

128. a crazy, short-staffed, busy Tuesday survived with good attitude intact

So, I’m looking for the gifts. Eventually I will reach 1000!

 

 

 

 

 

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