Sleep was elusive last night, and I was awake much earlier than I had hoped for this morning. The day was mostly productive though. I watched several World Junior Hockey games and did laundry and housework between goals and periods. Despite heavy eyelids, I got a lot done.
But now I am sliding into grouchiness. It is probably a combination of factors, which still doesn’t give me license to be as snarky as I feel. Mostly, I think, this is a little pity party, because I didn’t sleep well and wasn’t able to enjoy a little sleep in, while two of my teenagers pretty much laid in bed until mid-afternoon, despite my repeated efforts to get them mobile and functioning all morning. Then they don’t do the one task I ask them to do while I run an errand…
Since I am currently on an eating plan of no carb days, moderate carb days, and one high carb day, I frequently plan out what I will eat the day before, especially when I know I will be working or away from the house. Saturdays are my go crazy days. A few days ago I had thought I would indulge in the new caramel tortoise torte donut on Saturday, but then I realized that I might not want to waste those carbs on a donut when this Saturday is my birthday! I could delay that gratification until the following Saturday, but then I’m going out for dinner with a friend to celebrate our birthdays.
Feeling deprived hasn’t helped my mood, even though I know I really am not deprived. Still, I just planned out every bite of food for tomorrow, which is a moderate carb day, just so I can have that stupid donut. This donut is nearly half my carb allowance for the day, and I am feeling a little ticked off with myself for planning it into my day, for feeling manipulated by a donut (even if it is filled with caramel and topped with chocolate), and for feeling so grouchy and ticked off in the first place. It is all rather pathetic, but I’m going to roll with it tonight.
Maybe I will change my mind tomorrow and forego the donut. Or maybe not.